HAIRY HARRY THE NEW TOOTH FAIRY (a Valentine for Andrea Brown)

Andrea Brown is, I believe, one of the most successful kid lit agents in the world.

I came across a Q and A with her, in which she stated, “The world does not need another rhyming tooth fairy story.”

I disagree

SWEET AND SALTY CRACKERS

HAIRY HARRY THE NEW TOOTH FAIRY (a Valentine for Andrea Brown)

Silly Sally’s tooth was loose,

it was going to come out.

It did not hurt, there was no pain,

no need to scream and shout.

 

She put her finger on the tooth,

it went wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

The funny wobbling feelings

made her giggle, giggle, giggle.

 

Silly Sally said, “If the new tooth is a fang,

I might be a vampire!

And if that is the case,

I will need to acquire the appropriate attire.”

 

“If your new tooth is a fang,”

laughed Rah Rah Ronny,

“you might be an orangutang.”

 

“You mean to say ‘oranguTAN’,

my furry-footed friend,”

said Silly Sally,

“because there is no G on the end.”

 

“A monkey is a monkey,

with a G or not,”

replied Rah Rah Ronny.

“And if you are a monkey,

your parents will be distraught.”

 

Silly Sally said, “Orangutans are not monkeys,

even though they have a monkey kind of shape.

If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey.

If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey,

it’s an ape.

Veggie Tales taught me that.”

 

Silly Sally kept wiggle, wiggle, wiggling

her wobbly, wobbly tooth,

until out it came.

“Now I am a vampire!”

the little girl exclaimed.

 

Bon-bon Bonny babbled,

“If you are Count Dracula, I am a tarantula.

If you are Count Dracula, I am a tarantula.

If you are Count Dracula, I am a tarantula.”

 

Then, a little creature popped out of thin air.

It had white hair everywhere,

like a pretty polar bear.

It was small and cute and furry,

and it spoke in an awful hurry.

 

“Bonjour! I concur,” it said.

“She is still a girl, for sure.”

 

“Who and what are you?” asked Bon-bon Bonny.

“Yeah, who and what are you,” repeated Rah Rah Ronny.

 

“My name is Harry, and I am a fairy,”

answered Harry the Fairy.

 

“You are very hairy for a fairy,”

said Silly Sally.

“You are not scary, little Harry,

but you are extraordinary.”

 

“I am not extraordinary.

I have proof to the contrary.

Please meet:

Hairy Terry,

Hairy Jerry,

Hairy Carey,

HairyGary,

Hairy Barry,

Harry Perry

and Hairy Larry.

We are the new breed of tooth fairy.”

 

“So,” roared Rah Rah Ronny,

“you have come for her tooth,

and you are going to give her money?!”

 

“Not so fast there, little sonny.

Times are tough, we have no money,”

said Hairy Harry the tooth fairy.

“Just what would you do if we gave you cash?

I bet that you would make a quick dash,

straight to the candy store,

and we can tolerate than no more.

That’s why the old tooth fairies were shown the door.”

 

Silly Sally was dejected.

“Not a vampire,

and now no money,” she sighed.

“All my wishes have been rejected.”

 

“Cheer up, Silly Sally,

we do have something for you,”

said Hairy Harry the tooth fairy.

“And we will teach you something new, too!”

 

Then Harry,

Terry,

Gary,

Jerry,

Carey,

Perry

and Larry

plucked fur from their bodies hairy.

 

“Look here, children,” said Hairy Harry

do you see these things,

that we have separated

into strings?”

 

Silly Sally, Rah Rah Ronny and Bon-bon Bonny all nodded,

and the hairy tooth fairies applauded.

 

“This is dental floss,” said Hairy Harry the tooth fairy.

“And this is a little trick to keep your teeth clean,

in between,

where bacteria grow,

but are never seen.”

 

Hairy Harry the tooth fairy

wrapped a string around two fingers.

He said,

“Some food gets in between your teeth and lingers.”

 

Between two teeth he slid the string,

then gave his wrists a little fling.

Again and again the string went down and up,

and forth and back,

the invisible bacteria were under attack!

“You must do this every time you brush,

because the bacteria always come back,”

said Hairy Harry the tooth fairy.

 

“Yes, sir,” said Rah Rah Ronny.

 

“You’re the boss,” said Bon-bon Bonny.

 

“Brush and floss, brush and floss, brush and floss, brush and floss,” said Silly Sally.

 

THE END